How to Calm a Crying Baby: Simple (and Surprising) Solutions
May 18, 2023
“Why is my baby crying, again?!” It’s a question every parent has asked themselves many times. As a child development expert, I’ve worked with so many moms and dads who have experienced the same soothing struggle that you’re going through right now. And, as a parent, I also have firsthand fussy baby experience. So, please know that what you—and your baby—are going through is totally normal. While I’m sure it’s helpful to hear you’re not alone, I know what you really need are some tips for when you are alone with your baby, at 3 a.m., during a cry-fest. And I’m happy to help.
Below you’ll find some info, techniques and tools that I’ve picked up through my work as a child development specialist and in my other full-time job as a mom. Take a look, try some things out and see what works best for you and your baby.
No time to read? Watch this video (if you want to).
Why do babies cry and why is soothing so important?
For the first 12 months of life a baby has little to no language skills, so crying is their primary way of communicating. Babies cry for all sorts of reasons—hunger, gas, a dirty diaper, need for a change of scenery or some snuggles, overstimulation… the list goes on.
Soothing your baby and showing them how to self-soothe helps them slowly build the skills to regulate their emotions. Learning these behaviors sets them up to successfully cope with tired and cranky feelings in the future.
How to soothe a crying baby: the basics
Use these tried-and-true tactics to get that little one calm and snoozing away.
1. Rock or bounce your baby gently.
This comforts them because it reminds them of the motions experienced in their first home—a cozy, warm belly.
2. Play soft music or white noise.
Sound machine soothers help calm your newborn by blocking out other noises and reminding them of that same first home.
3. Let them chomp & chew.
It’s natural for babies to explore and self-soothe with their mouths. Look for teething toys with a variety of textures and chewable materials that stimulate the sucking reflex.
4. Center their focus with calming visuals.
Soft lights, a shiny mirror or slowly spinning animal pals on an overhead mobile will catch their eye and calm them down when overstimulated.
Surprising soothing tips
Maybe your baby isn’t responding to the typical soothing methods (that’s ok—every baby is different). I’ve learned tons of unique methods while working with families and through trial and error with my own little ones. Try these tips to help calm your baby.
Self-soothing timeline
The first year is a whirlwind. But through all those crying fits, your baby is going to learn new ways to manage their emotions. These are the self-soothing behaviors you can expect to see them adopt in year one.
3-6 months Sucking on fingers or hands, focusing on an interesting toy or rocking gently
3-12 months Turning away from overstimulating situations
4-7 months Falling asleep when feeling overwhelmed
6-9 months Shifting attention onto an object to manage emotions after a distressing event
4-12 months Moving their head side to side while falling asleep
My baby still won’t calm down—why?
I get it, I’ve been there (and many nights, still am). We don’t always know why our babies cry. If your baby won’t calm down, don’t blame yourself. Self-soothing is a complicated process, and some little ones take more time to figure it out than others. If you have specific concerns, talk to your pediatrician.
Parent check-in
Hey, how are things? Hanging in there?
Being a new, little baby in this great, big world is fun and tiring and overwhelming and amazing—just like being a new parent. You and your kiddo are in the same boat, and both of you need some TLC.
Today, I challenge you to find a couple minutes to yourself both physically and mentally. Try it now: Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
Feel a tiny bit clearer in that head of yours? I hope so. You deserve it. You are doing BIG things raising that tiny human. You got this.
Gentle reminder: If you ever have concerns about your child’s development, trust your gut and reach out to your pediatrician.”
Bringing a smile to milestones.
Say hello to happier parenting. We’re here to help you celebrate the little victories, let go of expectations, and pick up more positivity. Because after more than 90 years of helping families, we’ve learned that development happens naturally when fun leads the way.
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